Road to the Cross: What was he thinking?

Dear Reader, thank you for joining me on the road to the cross. My heart leaps to share the old, old story that remains new. Please accept my humble accounting of the treacherous path Jesus and His followers took to the cross, and gloriously beyond. 

(Road to the Cross will continue during visits this Lenten season.)

What was He thinking? Could He have made it easier for that scoundrel, Judas? Why did He just offer Himself up to them, like a lamb to the slaughter? Judas. How could he have been so stupid, so self-serving? Didn’t he get it? Even the Roman soldiers got it. 

Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, “Who is it you want?”
“Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied.
“I am he,” Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.) 
When Jesus said, “I am he,” they drew back and fell to the ground.
John 18:4-6 NIV


Did those soldiers see something we didn’t? How could that be possible? We’re the ones who have been with Him over two years. 


How could they come with weapons, intending to arrest Him, then fall at His feet? What did they see?

And how dare Judas kiss the Master? He seemed to know what Judas was up to. How could He just stand there and let the traitor kiss His cheek?

43 Jesus was still speaking when Judas, one of the twelve disciples, arrived. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs and sent by the chief priests, the teachers of the Law, and the elders. 44 The traitor had given the crowd a signal: “The man I kiss is the one you want. Arrest him and take him away under guard.”
45 As soon as Judas arrived, he went up to Jesus and said, “Teacher!” and kissed him. 46 So they arrested Jesus and held him tight.
Mark 14:43-46 GNT


I’m so confused. The Master allowed Judas to betray Him with a kiss, but got bent out of shape when I tried to defend Him. 


I feel like my whole world has turned upside down. We gave up everything to follow Him. And for what? What do we do now?

Jehovah Rohi, are you there? I don’t understand. We thought He was the One. We believed in Him, and now look what has happened. Were we wrong? Did we do it all for nothing?


Jehovah Rohi, please don’t leave me alone with my fears and frustrations. I need you! If you won’t give me answers, please give me your peace, just please don’t leave me.