Did the Cow Kiss Challenge show up in your internet feed a few years ago? How many ways can we say “GROSS!”? Dear Reader, this gal on the other side of your screen hadn’t heard of the challenge of kissing a cow that came out of Europe until looking for a graphic. Wow, I couldn’t believe how many pics of people kissing cows came up!
Alas, I digress.
I’ve been waiting to share this post for a couple of months. I was reading the book of Hosea (Old Testament). Once I got over the whole man of God marrying a known prostitute (and chasing after her multiple times), turns out Hosea has lots of good lessons . . . like the one about “men kiss(ing) calves!” Seriously, Dear Reader, I nearly laughed my socks off then started brainstorming a connection. (The whole Cow Kiss Challenge turned out to be a bonus.)
Worshipping a golden calf goes back to several ancient cultures. It began creeping into the Jewish culture before the laundry was dry from the trek through the Red Sea . . . and God was not happy about it!
Several centuries later, the Jewish people were off the rails again/still, and God still wasn’t happy about that! Enter our guy, Hosea, to deliver God’s message/warning against bowing down to any god, especially kissing cows, but the Lord God Almighty. And Hosea let them have it:
And now they sin more and more, and make for themselves molten images, idols skilfully made of their silver, all of them the work of craftsmen. Sacrifice to these, they say, Men kiss calves!
Therefore they shall be like the morning mist or like the dew that goes early away, like the chaff that swirls from the threshing floor or like smoke from a window.
Hosea 13:2-3 RSV
So, what does kissing cows have to do with a nail salon? Probably nothing unless, like me, your family nickname was “Ugly”.
You’d think I’d be over by now, right? Not! The name backfired and I’ve spent my whole life trying to be “Not Ugly”. For several years that’s meant professional manicures since I consider my nails to be my best feature.
Okay, maybe that’s still not a big deal, usually.
My besties and I were treating ourselves to lunch recently at a restaurant a little higher class than the norm for us. (Does higher prices for smaller portions make it “high class?”) I was nearly frantic that I wouldn’t be able to get a manicure before our luncheon.
Yes, Dear Reader, I was kissing a cow! The idol was fashioned of my own making, and its name was vanity.
To tell you the truth, I was a little embarassed when I first made the connection, and then I laughed out loud. Guess what, Dear Reader? I think most of us have a golden calf stuffed somewhere in our homes, for a little kissing the cow once in a while.
Not buying that? Maybe our city is the only one that goes crazy when one of our teams brings home the bacon, and suddenly you better be wearing the team swag, or risk ridicule when you step out of your house. Maybe a little kissing the cow, maybe not.
Have you known anyone who determines worth by the number of gadgets or size of a big screen? Maybe it’s the car that gets more TLC than the kids, or the number of “friends” on Facebook.
You get the point. The next time it seems like I’m getting my priorities are getting skewed, I’m going to ask myself if I’m kissing a cow. What do you think?