Road to the Cross: What was he thinking?

Dear Reader, thank you for joining me on the road to the cross. My heart leaps to share the old, old story that remains new. Please accept my humble accounting of the treacherous path Jesus and His followers took to the cross, and gloriously beyond. 

(Road to the Cross will continue during visits this Lenten season.)

What was He thinking? Could He have made it easier for that scoundrel, Judas? Why did He just offer Himself up to them, like a lamb to the slaughter? Judas. How could he have been so stupid, so self-serving? Didn’t he get it? Even the Roman soldiers got it. 

Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, “Who is it you want?”
“Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied.
“I am he,” Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.) 
When Jesus said, “I am he,” they drew back and fell to the ground.
John 18:4-6 NIV


Did those soldiers see something we didn’t? How could that be possible? We’re the ones who have been with Him over two years. 


How could they come with weapons, intending to arrest Him, then fall at His feet? What did they see?

And how dare Judas kiss the Master? He seemed to know what Judas was up to. How could He just stand there and let the traitor kiss His cheek?

43 Jesus was still speaking when Judas, one of the twelve disciples, arrived. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs and sent by the chief priests, the teachers of the Law, and the elders. 44 The traitor had given the crowd a signal: “The man I kiss is the one you want. Arrest him and take him away under guard.”
45 As soon as Judas arrived, he went up to Jesus and said, “Teacher!” and kissed him. 46 So they arrested Jesus and held him tight.
Mark 14:43-46 GNT


I’m so confused. The Master allowed Judas to betray Him with a kiss, but got bent out of shape when I tried to defend Him. 


I feel like my whole world has turned upside down. We gave up everything to follow Him. And for what? What do we do now?

Jehovah Rohi, are you there? I don’t understand. We thought He was the One. We believed in Him, and now look what has happened. Were we wrong? Did we do it all for nothing?


Jehovah Rohi, please don’t leave me alone with my fears and frustrations. I need you! If you won’t give me answers, please give me your peace, just please don’t leave me.

9 thoughts on “Road to the Cross: What was he thinking?”

  1. Awesome, Allie! I think you captured the emotions of the moment.
    I often have wondered how Jesus could wash Judas’ feet, eat meals with him and allow him to kiss him on the cheek knowing what He knew?
    And I wonder … How could Judas have brought himself to do it … after spending three years with Him?

    1. Dear Jerralea, I do apologize for being so delinquent in responding to your comment. It may sound weird, but I’m thankful for Judas. We say and claim that Jesus died and rose again to pay for the sins of the world, but Judas makes it so personal. I’ve often wondered if Judas really had any choice, and that’s a whole other can of worms. I guess what we need to remember is if Jesus could forgive Judas (even if he couldn’t forgive himself), when he/Judas was literally sinning in Jesus’s sight, then Jesus can forgive us of anything. Thanks and blessings for the chat, Jerralea!

  2. I love your retelling here interspersed with the scriptures. It helps it come alive as we realize these were real people with real fears and thoughts. Like Teresa said, we know the rest of the story, but the disciples at the time didn’t. God is so full of love and mercy. What a gift to us! Blessings to you! I’m your neighbor at #InspireMeMonday.

    1. Dear Gayl, you are so right that it’s easy to allow the players in the scriptural accounts to remain 2-D on the page. Seeing their viewpoints can help us to clarify our own, I think. Thank you for your visit and blessings. I hope your Resurrection Day is filled with joy and grace!

  3. Alice, I love this kind of writing – it is going between the lines of scripture – into the heart of man. Those folks were just like you and I. What would I have done? And, I am sure when those soldiers hit the ground? It was because they saw a glimpse of the Angel Army around our Savior. Yes?

    1. Susan, I do, too! When I try to look at something important from a perspective (vastly) different from mine, it helps me to clarify my own. And yes, I do think those soldiers were blessed to get a glimpse of God’s Angel Army. Thanks for visiting (and I apologize for being so long in responding, still learning the new platform).

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